'So Many Questions – Original Writing\r'

'Here I was once much, watching the activities of reckon 15, Hazelnut Gardens. How evict I sit hither discerning thither is a nonher unmatched of me in spite of appearance that house? She does non heretofore k promptly I exist. The clouds clapped with th shoot the stairs and the crusade accession was now get-go to fade as the mist and rain c over the motor cable elevator car windows. The heating was non working stiff enough to clear the windscreen of my ancient, come out(p)dated car so I resolved that to night was not the night.\r\nWhile driving home I tack together it lumbering to get over the fact that I hadnt achieved my life objective. Where was I to go from here? I had c wholeed her some times before and auditory sense her voice filled me with panic, my life would be over if she rejects me, there would be no one here. nighttime after night done any live on I would sit and watch any fulminant activities coming from the house. Driving home through the ex hausting bullets of rain was a struggle. I was trying to broadcast out my next es give tongue to, if I didnt pass this one then my outgoing battle through out the year to secure my degree would be wasted.\r\nSocratic Seminar Questions\r\nHowever, there was more to my life than education. tone was entangled; difficult to understand. No one knew the trauma I had been through going from home to home, pargonnts to parents, I could neer settle. I man periodd to pull myself through and now I was fin aloney overcoming the tough times but she had continuously been there at the back of my mind. I didnt get by anything about her, her wonderful life with her ‘parents the life I neer had.\r\nThe sudden screech of my brakes warned every(prenominal)one I was back. As I dawdled up the stairs, my eyes scanned the scope or so me to hold broken bottles and graffiti resolved to the damp brick w scarcelys. Compared to her house, my petite flat was an utter disgrace. Claustrophobia was not an option when entering the welcoming h eitherway of my frost flat. It was ilk the Artic in there. Strolling through ignoring the piles of books and work, I collapsed onto the worn out, threadbare sofa. What was I to do now? I had spent so extensive conclusion her; finding where she lived. She never knew about me. She never knew she had me. She never knew I was there for her. She never knew she had whateverone who get winded on the button homogeneous her, someone who felt her pain.\r\nI open up it onerous to plan my essay once I had become conscious that tomorrow was an important day. tomorrow was Thursday. Tomorrow was their weekly ritual; their weekly shop. How was I to see her again without her noticing me? Or did I inadequacy her to see me?\r\nOnce again I sit, waiting. The door was start to open now, late identical a door to a haunted house. Out stepped a tall figure of a girl. She was the same(p) age as me I knew that much. She was slim and was wearing jeans and some kind of black jacket which covered intimately of her upper body, she was wearing high leg boots, and they fit her and her perfect, pampered self. A smile stretched across her face as she held keys up in the air. Another womanly but plump figure followed her out and shut the front door posterior her. They passing played towards their expensive car at the front of the house, they talked and giggled without a care in the world. starting line the engine at once they drove sullen laughing to each other.\r\nThe Sun was just starting to sleep and the lowering skies were moving in. The sky was a gorgeous purple colour, and pink reflected of the clouds. It was as if the sky was reflecting their feelings, but not my feelings, I wasnt razz and pink, I was curious and dull, watching her every night made me motive to be a fork of her crimson more, it was so hard sitting here sharp she had me, who wished to be composition of her life. It was so unfair. The dark shadow of th e house crawled across the floor and hid all signs of me and my car. Starting up my engine I followed behind them. I knew where they were going so I went right away there, taking short cuts where needed. I waited in the car park for them to arrive so once again I could watch, listen, and pick up anymore inside information I needed to hold up about her.\r\nI sauntered through the aisles with my half empty trolley, I looked around at the high shelves which seemed to tower over me and put in me as I entered. Trying not to stick it obvious as I looked her up and down, when I surreptitiously passed her. As I painstakingly flinged along looking aimlessly at the high shelves which encircled me from all sides, trying not to be tempted, she looked at me oblivious while I hid my face under my hat. It wasnt the right time for it to happen.\r\nI started to read a magazine as I waited for them to leave. I was handle a lion waiting for its prey in the long fresh grass, watching and listenin g. In my car I sit, desolate once again. How long can I stay same(p) this? Surely she would curtly notice me. How can I introduce myself? Life was more complicated than it should be. No one else had problems like me not even her. As I flicked through the magazines peoples life stories were flashed in front of me. Yet they all had got over their traumatic or happy experiences. She looked like me yet was so distinguishable, in so many an(prenominal) ways.\r\nMy identity was vague and as I queried it even more it just seemed to disappear. I yawned and let out a tremendous moan. wherefore is this so hard for me? I give way spent so long trying to find her and now I am too scared to even go up to her and say ‘Hi. The cars beeped as I sunk into oblivion, the lights passed me in a blur, the road signs were gone, and the atmosphere was black. The loud shoot of a lorry brought me back to consciousness, tiredness overcame me. I need to recount her who I am, why should I live my life like this, seeing her every night yet never saying anything. Should I call her? Shall I meet up with her? What do I do? What do I say?\r\nSo many questions yet no answers appeared. I picked up the phone, shaking, frightened and perturbed. I patiently touch the immensely small buttons and held the receiver to my face. My heart started pumping hard. The operate up started, it was as if my life machine was on the spur of the moment dead. Skipping a few heart beats until she communicate,\r\nâ€Å"Hello,”\r\nI moved my lips yet no sound was heard. I had run out of battery and the phone was dumb talking its monstrously pretty voice.\r\nâ€Å"Hello, is anyone there?”\r\nThe dial up sounded again. She was gone. It was over so quickly, yet it seemed so long. A few talking to spoken, but there were so many more to say. The roughly words Ill credibly ever hear from her, but I want to hear her again. I want her to get laid who I am. I want her to be small-arm of my l ife and I want to be part of her life!\r\nHere I am again. With a plan. ceremonial and waiting while I secretly hide, out of sight, but not for so long, I hope. The door opens for the hold out time. She stands unique and solitary. She counted her notes in her travelling bag while she lingered for her ‘mother again. They pass. I wait then I go. I know where she is going. I follow them late(prenominal) the busy highroads. Coming closer to the centre, buses and taxis everywhere, there were many families and friends out together, on a social trip. Theyre periodical retail therapy had arrived.\r\nAs they walked together, arms locked tight, I followed soundlessly. downstairs my hat I hide. Once again I look trying not to be tempted. I loitered about trying not to look suspicious. I felt as if I was about to deplumate a crime. How do I start? Where do I start? How can I formulate just how I feel? The closer I got the more I wanted to speak to her. I had prepared myself for so long and now I was finally completing my life ambition and it was all happening too fast. The world was spinning all too rapidly.\r\nAs they separated and singled off into different shops I still follow her. I act to be an actress, performing innocent and pretending to be interested in the clothes. She grabs numerous items and throws them over her arm. If only I could do the same. If only I could discreetness myself like she can. Ive never had a life like hers. A life where I could have what I wanted, when I wanted. However, I didnt want her for her money I wanted her in my life. I wanted her to want me. What if she didnt? What if she rejects me? What if she doesnt want to see me ever again? She might not even remember me, she might not even know.\r\nThe shop wasnt as busy as I had hoped.\r\nAs I tiptoed into the dressing agency behind her. My legs were like jelly, My head was spinning. What should I do? What should I say? The direct was welcoming and comfortable. I sat there wa iting, whispering to myself. My head down still with my cap on, picturing her face as I told her. All that came to me was a picture of mental rejection; of doubt. My whole life felt like it depended on this moment. Would life get better? Or worse? My dynamism was being sucked away, through the c hairsbreadth, down the chair legs and draining into the floor. All use of my language had gone. prop onto my bag I clutched so tight. The minutes seemed like hours and the world stopped. The curtain opened. I heard it swish, slowly looking up. I axiom her. She was about the same height as me, with long brown hair just like mine. We were exactly the same. She came out twirling towards the mirror opposite. As her trousers dragged along the floor she pulled down her piano jumper. Checking her hair and make -up she took a close look in the mirror. Her eyes filled with disbelief as I looked up to find her staring at me. My heart stopped. Clutching my bag even tighter.\r\nâ€Å"Who are you? wherefore do you look like me? Why are you here?” she barked, she walked closer, looking at me from head to toe, her peach was wide open.\r\nHer eyes still staring into mine. She looked as white as me, her tan had vanished. Her face was drained. I tired to push my words out, I spoke so quietly she could hardly hear me.\r\nâ€Å"You dont know who I am, but I know a lot about you. Your so-called mother probably hasnt told you about me. I look like you because I am you. I am a part of you; your twin.” I took a big gulp and assay to continue.\r\nShe turned around and unexpectedly I saw a tear appear from her left eyes. Why was she crying? Did she want me to carry on? I stared with doubt, this is not how I planned it. I carried on.\r\nâ€Å"You see, I have the same parents as you, but when we were born(p) we were separated and you were taken to one family while I was taken to many families. I never had a life like you. I know this is hard to take in but Ive been lookin g for you for most of my teen years and now I have finally put together you and you look scared.”\r\nShe stood there, speechless. What else was I suppositional to say? That was my story in a nutshell.\r\nâ€Å"How did you find me? Why did you find me? What do you want from me?” she blurted out.\r\nThis was not the answer I was looking for I tested to explain to her that I wanted to be a part of her life but I could tell she didnt want anything to do with me. I was right she had spurned me. My life had crashed. I stood up ready to walk out.\r\nâ€Å"Wait!” she cried ” I cant just let you walk out on me again. I do know about you. Of course I do. I pitch out myself about four years ago. I tried to find you but I had no luck. I am so glad youre here. I look scared because you did scare me. I never knew you looked so much like me. Ive finally found the sister Ive been wanting”\r\nAt long last I had found someone. Someone who touchablely did want me i n their life not like the further parents who only looked after me because they felt sorry for me. I had been dragged from the crash; rescued. My wounds had healed all at once. My energy was pumped back into me. I finally had the answers I was looking for.\r\nHere I am again. Watching the activities of number 15, Hazelnut Gardens. However, this time Im watching from the inside. in spite of appearance the warm, comfortable living room. So this is what a real family feels like I thought. There were no more questions. They had all been answered. My mind was at peace.\r\n'